In My Enemy's Shoes
by remedios
Summary: Ginny and Pansy have switched bodies! How terrifying - and yet such a great opportunity for humor! Will feature DracoGinny and DeanPansy.
1. Eins

A/N: There will be D/G in the future! No worries. Also, I decided to start writing this one and deserting "A Feud to Maim" because there is no plot in Feud, which doesn't really compel me to write more. Sorry, folks. However, this fic actually has a plot (gasp!) and such. This fic is rated R because there's a lot of cussing. It also allows me to be free with the content of the story. So, read on! Review! I love reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, at least not in this world.

* * *

The morning was supposed to be as normal as any other morning was. She was supposed to wake up with a teddy bear wrapped in her arms, her hair sticking to her face in an unflattering matter as she rose up to slam her hand down on the alarm clock. That was how all mornings usually went for her, and this morning was supposed to be no exception.

Yes, she did wake up with something wrapped in her arms, and her hair sticking to her face. She did rise up to slam her hand down on the alarm clock. But this was when all things went awry, when she realized this was going to be one of the most abnormal mornings she ever had.

Her fist met something soft, that let out a loud yelp of, "What the fuck?!" Horrified, she raised her fist to see what it had landed on.

It was no other than Draco Malfoy, the devil himself.

Ginny screamed, jumping from the bed in shock. She began to sputter, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there..." when alas, she realized that she had no clothes on. She let out another scream, grabbed the sheet from the bed unveiling a just as naked Malfoy, and hurried out of the room in a wild frenzy.

She ran into the closest room panting heavily, which turned out to be the hall bathroom. Finally, she found the nerve to look into the mirror, and would have screamed again if she hadn't already lost her voice.

Staring back at her with a frightened expression unlike herself, was Pansy Parkinson.

* * *

Pansy had woken up in a state close to Ginny's except with all the screaming. Instead, she swore fairly loud, alarming all of the other inhabitants of the room from their sleep. She pulled the curtains open violently, only to see a bunch of girls she recognized as sixth year Gryffindors. She hissed in their general direction and headed for the bathroom.

She had some general idea what had just happened. Pansy was not one to randomly jump to conclusions based on mere impulse. She rationalized through her thinking, using inductive reasoning to come to valid answers. Being that she woke up in the sixth year Gryffindor dorm instead of her usual surroundings, she figured she must be in the body of a sixth year Gryffindor. It was only logical.

She stomped in, looking immediately in the mirror, dreading for what she might see. What she saw was the worse thing imaginable, something that made her cringe and wish for death to take her now.

She was a Weasley.

* * *

After Ginny had quickly found out what happened, she raced into what she guessed was the seventh year girl's dormitory, grabbed some decent clothes (which was hard, since it was from Pansy's wardrobe), and raced toward the Gryffindor common room. If what happened what she thought had happened, she was soon going to run into her body with a very agitated Pansy inside it.

This she did, right in front of the Great Hall. She saw herself seething, who quickly grabbed her shirt and shoved her into a nearby classroom.

"I'm guessing you're Weasley, right?"

Ginny breathed in deeply, "Yeah. Pansy?"

"Uh huh," she said, followed by a smirk, "How was your morning?"

Ginny blushed and replied angrily, "I'm not one to randomly find myself naked in bed with a nude Malfoy."

"Yes, well I'm not one to find myself hugging a teddy bear when I wake up either, so we were both in for a rude awakening," Pansy scoffed.

Ginny didn't say anything, just watched herself -- or Pansy -- make a series of angry and sardonic expressions. It was odd to watch herself act like a.. well, a Slytherin. Pansy finally caught her eye, a single eyebrow raising.

"Is there something you'd like to say?" she sneered.

Ginny sighed, "Yes. Do you know what could have caused it?"

Pansy tapped her foot, as if in deep thought. She lowered her head to the ground, crossing her arms. Finally, she replied, "Yes. I do."

Ginny's eyes lit up, "Really! That means we can reverse it!"

Pansy let out a snarl, "Not if the person I think procured it did it."

A frown crossed Ginny's face, "What?"

Pansy let out a tired grunt, and dragged Ginny to the fireplace in the classroom. She threw some floo powder in it, called out "Parkinson Manor" to reveal a very sickly looking house elf.

The house elf was obviously very intimidated by Pansy, since he was shaking the second he laid eyes on Ginny. He asked with a stutter, "M-m-miss P-pansy?"

Ginny, a little confused, could only muster a few sounds that were supposed to form words. Unable to take it anymore, Pansy elbowed her in the stomach and whispered harshly, "Ask for Master Charles."

Ginny let out a small gasp and croaked out, "Can you get Master Charles?"

The elf let out another stutter saying he was going to fetch this 'Master Charles', only to reveal a young boy, perhaps eight or nine, with blond hair and nose similar to Pansy's. The second he saw the both of them, he looked straight at Pansy and squealed out, "It worked!"

Pansy reached into the fire and grabbed the boy by the collar and shook him violently. "Damn right it worked! What the bloody hell did you do, you little twit?"

The boy smiled, "Just getting back, dear sister."

"By turning me into _her?!_" Pansy shrieked.

An even bigger grin crossed his face as he said, "Don't worry, it'll only last a month."

Pansy's eyes narrowed, however she remained calm (eerily, but still calm) as she said, "A month?"

The boy sighed, putting his hands on the hands Pansy was busily grasping furiously, "You always taught me to get my revenge, and I felt this was a fit revenge for putting my toy trucks in the kitty's litter box."

The fury in Pansy's eyes only lasted for a second, when they did something Ginny had never witnessed: softened. But only for a second, for a sly look crossed her face, "Looks like I've been teaching you well. But remember, this won't be forgotten, Chuck."

Chuck smirked, "I'll be waiting for your brilliance."

Pansy released her grip and asked, "What was the curse you put on me, anyway?"

"It was the Phatus curse.. to make the person you directed it at to switch bodies with the person they despise most."

Obviously proud of her little brother, Pansy prodded, "And how did you perform such a difficult curse?"

The boy crossed his arms arrogantly, "I found the gardener snogging one of the maids."

She let out a pleased squeal, "Blackmail! You little devil!"

"I felt he deserved it for grossing me out," he said, scrunching up his nose.

She snickered, "You're worthy of the Parkinson name."

"Thank you, Pans. I'll let you go, because you obviously have work to do," he said, giving Ginny what she perceived as a look of scorn.

Pansy clucked her tongue, "Thanks to you, no doubt." He gave another pompous smirk. "Go now, before I get annoyed with you." He waved good bye, gave one more evil glare to Ginny, and disappeared.

"You despise me the most? Do you even know my name?"

Pansy looked at Ginny seriously and asked, "Fanny, right?"

She held back a scream, "Ginny."

Pansy rolled her eyes, raising from the fireplace, "What matters is your last name is Weasley, and I _loathe_ Weasleys."

"And for the next month you have to be the very _thing _you loathe! Very, very tragic." Ginny remarked, making sure the words were laced with sugary apathy.

Pansy frowned for a second, but then a wicked smile crossed her face, "And you have to be a mean filthy Slytherin. Fate has a way of hitting us in the face, doesn't it?"

"I have nothing against Slytherins."

"Really?" Pansy challenged, "Weasley, you glare at us every chance you get, and you know it."

Ginny crossed her arms, "What you fail to realize is that I am glaring at _you_, Parkinson. You make me retch."

Pansy stared at her a few seconds, her eyes narrowing. Then, when Ginny felt she was going to hit her at any moment, Pansy threw her head back and let out a loud cackle. "_Retch?!_ Weasley, you crack me up!" She then left the classroom, her laughter now echoing in the halls. Ginny just sat there, shocked by Pansy's sudden burst of joy. A few seconds later, Pansy's head popped back into the classroom. "Are you coming or not? We have to find out some plan to help us survive the next month."

Ginny sighed, finally regaining her senses. "Why not?" she sighed.

* * *

Pansy seethed. It was only fifteen minutes into getting her best friend Millicent Bulstrode and Weasley's best friend, Colin Creevey, for a discussion in the Room of Requirement on how to act like Weasley, and she was already beginning to dislike the whole situation.

Weasley, whose first name she still did not know (Sunny? Jenny? What the hell was it?), had a face that was flushed red. Her jaw was tense, and she was gripping the chair in anger.

Pansy just stared back at her imperviously, swinging her left leg which was crossed over her right leg, smacking her lips obnoxiously. She pulled a tissue out of her bra and dabbed her nose as silence continued in the room.

Finally, unable to take it, Pansy let out a long exasperated sigh. "Weasley, it's really not that big of a deal."

"_It's very much of a big deal!" _Weasley screeched. Creevey cringed, while Millicent's lips began to twitch into what was predictably a smile.

"My god, woman! You don't need to screech! I can hear you just fine from where I'm sitting!" retorted Pansy, rubbing her ear. She leaned forward, "Listen, I'll make you a deal. I'll go out and buy you lots of new clothes, because let's face it, they are kind of shabby."

"NO."

"But it'll be so much fun! You can even come with me, and pick out clothes for me to try on, and I'll be your real live model! We'll go to Witch Express, Madame Malkins, Broom Gap --"

"_PARKINSON." _Ginny interrupted, looking as if she would rip Pansy to shreds. Pansy, taking the hint, shut up. "You are not allowed to.. to --"

"Make the beast with two backs?" interjected Millicent.

"Yes!" Ginny said, pointing at Millicent, "That! You cannot, under no circumstances, do.. _that_ in my body."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Shit, Weasley. Just say it."

Weasley snarled, "What?"

"Having sex, fucking, romping, humping, shagging, skrawnking.." Pansy listed off, pulling a piece of gum out of her bra.

Weasley snarled again, "You still can't do it."

"I have my physical needs, Weasley! You may be a cold fish, but I'm not! I'll die!" Pansy whined, popping the gum into her mouth childishly.

"Over my dead body."

"Really? Well, I'm in your body, Weasel girl, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

It was now Weasley's time to seethe, her frown so extreme that her eyebrows almost overlapped her eyes. Pansy smiled smugly, continually swinging her leg back and forth. Suddenly, Weasley sparked. Pansy's smirk faltered. This could not be good.

"I'm in _your_ body too, Parkinson. If you go off and do the unmentionable while you are in my body, I'll go and be nice to Hufflepuff first years," Ginny said, which followed by a loud scoff from Pansy. She smirked, "An eye for an eye."

".. makes the whole world go blind?" continued Creevey, keeping an innocent look on his face. Millicent's small smile now had turned into an evil grin.

"Shut it, Colin," growled Weasley. Both of the Slytherins sniggered, whereas Creevey shrugged and slouched in his chair.

Pansy sighed, obviously giving up. She waved it away with her hand, "Fine, fine. I won't fuck in your body. Happy?"

"I'm stuck in your body. Am I supposed to be happy?" Ginny cocked her eyebrow.

A smirk played onto Pansy's lips, "Guess I could say the same." She slapped her knees and stood up, "Now - back to the matter. Teach me the art of being a Weasley."


	2. Zwei

A/N: Just to clear up any confusion, all of this is done from different points of views. Therefore, even though Ginny is in Pansy's body, she still thinks of herself as Ginny. Thanks to dementorchic for pointing out that there was a chance for confusion for my dear readers, which I certainly don't want! This chapter just features the two learning how to act like the other. No worries, the next chapter will feature some D/G action (rowr!) and other such things (things that will go unnamed because frankly I don't know what these things are). Thank you all so much for the reviews! I was surprised that this fic got so much attention. Arigato!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, at least not in this world.

* * *

Ginny could feel herself falling asleep. It turned out that it was difficult for another to learn how to act like someone who was practically the antithesis of them. Parkinson was still trying to master Ginny's walk. Pansy who had a sexy swing in her gait had learn how to walk without moving her hips. Ginny, as Colin said, walked like a man. Of course, Ginny whapped him upside the head. Revenge was sweet.

Currently, Bulstrode was making Ginny practice her "sexy looks". Apparently, Pansy made these randomly at boys in the hall, and it would be unlike her if she did not perform them. That was why Ginny was sitting on the floor, a mirror placed in front of her, trying her best to do "Sexy Pansy Look (SPL) Type 4", which was a wink.

Bulstrode hit her with a newspaper for the fifteenth time. Ginny let out a small squeak. "Look seductive!"

"I'm trying!"

"Try harder!" barked Bulstrode. Ginny muttered some profanity under her breath, and attempt to make the SPL Type 4 once again, only to have another blow to her head. Ginny spun around, ready to take Bulstrode by the neck and choke her, even though she knew the girl could most likely beat her up.

Parkinson slid over, sitting down daintily on her knees. "Now, now, whatever could be the matter?"

"I hate the PSLs!" Ginny screamed.

Bulstrode handed the newspaper to Parkinson, who hit Ginny on the head. As soon as she was done with this, she handed the newspaper back to Bulstrode. Ginny squeaked again. "The PSLs are an art of seduction! There are a tool to get what you want, whenever you want. To master the PSLs is to master the minds of all men!"

"What if I don't care about the minds of all men?" Ginny retorted. She received another hit.

"I care about the minds of all men, and while you're in my body, you will too!" She ceased her screaming, her face slowly becoming calm. "Now, let me see it."

Ginny sighed. She mustered the best PSL Type 4 she could do, which Pansy responded with an agitated hiss.

"You're trying too hard. To perform the PSLs, one most believe that they are a sex god, that they are beautiful and alluring. You -" she said, poking Ginny in the nose, "- do not believe this. Now tell me, darling, do you have low self-esteem issues?"

Ginny's mouth hung open, "I do not!"

Parkinson rolled her eyes, "Right, right, I forgot. You're an overly confident Gryffindor." Ginny breathed in deeply, swallowing her frustration. Parkinson then took her hands, and held them. "Repeat after me, I am a sexy woman."

"What?!" Ginny screeched.

"Just say it. I am a sexy woman."

"I am a sexy woman," Ginny said in monotone.

Parkinson's nails dug into her skin, "Say it like you mean it! I am a sexy woman!"

Ginny closed her eyes, pinching her lips. She was getting really peeved, silently repeating to herself, _'This is really really stupid.'_ Finally, she opened them and said quietly, "I am a sexy woman."

"Louder!" yelled Parkinson.

"I am a sexy woman!" Ginny shouted.

"Louder! Louder!"

"I AM A SEXY WOMAN!"

The words echoed in the room. Parkinson released her hands. "Now, try the PSL Type 4."

Ginny looked at Parkinson, a look of doubt on her face. Suddenly, she felt a wave of confidence. _I am a sexy woman_, she thought. She performed the PSL Type 4.

Pansy squealed with delight. "Yes! Yes!" Bulstrode clapped, while Colin looked like he was going to pee his pants. He ran out of the room, mumbling unintelligibly.

Pansy smirked, nodding her head to where Colin just left, "There is your evidence that it worked, Weasley." Ginny burst out laughing.

* * *

"Alright," said Creevey as soon as he returned from his 'outing', "Let's go over important people in Ginny's life."

Pansy grumbled, "Yeah yeah."

"Ginny has six brothers. They go in the order of Ron, Fred, George, Percy, Bill and Charlie. The one you will be encountering will be Ron."

"I know who Ron is," she groaned, covering her face with her hands. She damned her brother to hell which was probably for the fifteenth time that day for making her go through this.

"Also, Ginny is close to Ron's best friends, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger," he listed off.

Pansy was taken back. "I have to mingle with _them?!"_

"Ginny no longer has a crush on Harry, and Ginny and Hermione like to have lots of girl talk, so you're supposed to know things about Hermione that no one else knows. Ginny will fill you in later," Creevey continued, obviously ignoring her. Either he was expecting her typical reactions, or he really didn't care.

Pansy's eyes lit up, "Dirt on the mudblood! Ooh, this is going to be better than I thought!"

Creevey, for the first time that night, glared, "Ginny never says that word. You shouldn't either. Also, if you set out to ruin the lives of any of Ginny's friends, she'll do the same to you."

"Yes, I get it. I was just playing with the idea," Pansy said, looking at her nails. She forgot how much Gryffindor's loathed that word.

Creevey gave her a doubtful look. "Right. Anyway, Ginny just broke up with her boyfriend, Dean Thomas," a mischievous look crossed Pansy's face. Obviously, Creevey caught it, "No, they never had sex.. I heard they snogged, but that was about it."

Pansy's face fell. "You never let me have fun."

A smile crossed Creevey's face, "If I let you have 'fun', Ginny would slaughter me. I would like to remain in one piece, thank you very much."

"On the lookout for your little friend? How sweet," said Pansy sarcastically. "Anyway, who broke up with who?"

"Ginny broke up with Dean," Creevey sighed. Apparently, the whole topic left him exasperated. "She said that he was a 'nice guy'," he said, leaving quotations in the air, "but that the relationship was becoming dry."

"Did Thomas still think their relationship was juicy?" asked Pansy, who was trying her best to seem indifferent.

Creevey still caught her cunning plan. "I think he was quite happy with the decision," he replied, "Anyhoo, just leave him alone. He and Ginny are trying their best to pretend the other doesn't exist."

"Oh, pity," sighed Pansy.

Creevey ignored her. "You room with Clara Fillmore, Charlotte Berry and Dana Nguyen. They're pretty nice, but a little weird. It makes them interesting. And, Ginny and I are really good friends with Luna Lovegood."

Pansy gave out a sound of acknowledgement.

"Also, we're going to have to think of a way to get you out of Quidditch practice, since Ginny is star Chaser."

"Whoever said I couldn't play Quidditch?" Pansy asked, finally looking Creevey in the eye.

He obviously wasn't expecting this, and was easily intimidated by Pansy's blank patronizing stare. "Um.. Well, you never really show interest.."

"That's because my father would skin me alive if he ever figured out," she responded emotionlessly. "I'm going to the Quidditch practices, and I'll go to the games as long as I'm not playing against Slytherin."

"I think we're only playing Hufflepuff this month," Creevey replied.

A sly grin grew on Pansy's face, "Hufflepuff, huh?"

Creevey smiled, "You know Gryffindor has a reputation for playing fair."

Pansy pouted. "There you go again, Creevey, ruining my fun."

"You know," Creevey said, "It's going to seem weird if you call me by my last name. People are going to suspect something weird."

Pansy rolled her eyes at the boy, "Fine. Colin."

"Same goes for all the other Gryffindors."

Pansy waved her hand, "Yeah yeah yeah. I get it. I'm not a moron."

"Oh, and what is 'Weasley's' first name?"

Pansy gave him a thoughtful look. "Lindsey, right?"

A smile slid onto Colin's face, "We'll need to work on that too."

* * *

"The only people you really need to know about are Draco and me. I guess you could say we're her only friends," Bulstrode grunted, taking out a chocolate bar and popping it in her mouth.

"That's it?"

Bulstrode shrugged. "Yeah." She broke off another piece of chocolate, "There's also the random visitors in her room."

Ginny blinked. "Visitors?"

"Oh, y'know, Pansy's nightly escapades." Bulstrode shrugged.

Ginny squeaked.

Pansy rushed over, practically dancing on the tips of her toes, and sat down fluidly beside Ginny. "More like sexcapades," Pansy corrected with a wink. Bulstrode smiled, in which Ginny became more pale. Pansy than turned to Ginny, saying in a mock distraught voice, "Oh, whatever are you going to do, Weasley? I mean, you being a virgin and all! I bet you're regretting that you didn't practice with Dean-ie Weanie, am I right?"

Ginny's eyes widened. "Wh - what?"

Pansy put her right hand on Ginny's shoulder, the other on top of it and rested her chin there. She batted her eyelashes. "Colin told me all about it, sweetheart."

Ginny exploded, ran to Colin (who as at the moment was deciding whether he should be amused or running for his life) and pinned him to the ground. "You told her?! I'm going to bloody kill you! Traitor!" Behind her, she could hear Pansy and Millicent laughing.

"If I hadn't, what do you think she would have done, Ginny?" Colin asked calmly. Apparently, this happened a lot.

Ginny sighed, releasing Colin as she stood to her feet. She dragged herself back to her chair, and slumped.

Pansy rolled her eyes from where she sat. Apparently, during Ginny's outburst, she had moved beside Millicent. She got up, and took her spot again on the arm of Ginny's chair. "It's not that bad, dear. I mean, everyone can tell, there's no harm done in confirming it. You're one of those girls, the kind that preaches no sex until you find the one you love. There's nothing wrong with that, such as there is nothing wrong with me being sexually active." She shrugged.

Ginny peered up, and replied, "That has to be the nicest thing I have ever heard you say, Pansy."

A sly smile entered onto Pansy's face, "Better not tell anybody. I've got a reputation to uphold... Ginny."


	3. Drei

A/N: Finally, some action! Plot development! Geebus! Sorry it took so long... I feel so bad! See, I've been working on college applications, and some are to these huge schools that eat up a lot of time... I'll try to take less time. Thank you for all the reviews! They inspire me to write more. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, not in this world anyway.

* * *

Ginny had never been down this deep in the dungeons before. She suppressed her shivers, because as Millicent barked at her earlier this lovely stroll, "Slytherins don't shiver." _You learn something new every day_, she thought to herself sarcastically. She hoped those three hours of cramming on how to be the seductive and snarky Pansy Parkinson had worked, and she wouldn't be forced with another session of Millicent yelling at her about another thing she did wrong.

Of course, before leaving, all four had to vow not to take advantage of the present situation. Meaning, Pansy could not use it to sabotage and humiliate Ginny and the Gryffindors, and Ginny could not do the same to Pansy and the Slytherins. Also, they made an oath not to let anyone know outside the four of them. Colin, with his infinite wisdom, said that it would be too complicated for people to get used to and it was only a month, so what the hell.

Sure, a month seemed short, but now that Ginny was entering the Slytherin common room, she felt a sudden wave of dread and longing for her familiar Gryffindor common room. Green was everywhere, and the green did nothing for her craving of the color red.

Still, she knew she had to suck it up. She walked in, doing that seductive saunter that she had perfected to the toe. She did PSL (Pansy Sexy Look) Type 3, a smirk with a nice hair flip. Everyone seemed convinced, because they all went back to what they were doing - which was the complete opposite Ginny was expecting. Here she was expecting the whole time that they would be quiet and strict, studying or maybe even having an evil brew that had screams emanating from it being concocted in the middle of the floor. Obviously she was wrong, because as many of them were joking around and laughing. There was a group of girls in the back (some of them she recognized as sixth years) painting each other's toenails and giggling madly, and some other boys were wrestling over what she found to be a donut. _Maybe this won't be so bad_, she mused.

Millicent suddenly hit her. She lunged forward a few inches, and turned back to yell. What the hell had she done now? Instead, Millicent cocked her head toward the staircase. She looked over, and saw something she had totally forgotten about which she should have remembered, and she was damning herself for doing that just now.

Draco Malfoy was currently giving her the one over, and was nodding his head toward to what was seemingly his bedroom. Ginny could feel herself becoming paler and paler, but Millicent just pushed her over. "Don't make me go over _there_!" Ginny whispered loudly.

"Just tell him the Dewey Menstruation System has ignited!" Millicent murmured back.

"What?!" Ginny screeched quietly.

"It'll work, don't worry, just go before it gets suspicious!" Millicent shoved her toward the staircase, where Ginny almost fell over. She regained herself at last minute, gave Malfoy a sexy smile fit with some tongue poking between her teeth (PSL type 6) as she walked up the stairs, who seemed convinced enough. He walked down the hall, leaving Ginny confused. What was she supposed to do now? She spun toward Millicent, who was mouthing "Go, you moron". She turned back, and walked down the hall. She had gone so far down, she felt that she must have done something wrong, when she was suddenly pulled into a room and was shoved against a wall by what she guessed to be Malfoy.

He smiled at her, and then proceeded to shove his tongue into her mouth. Acting on only impulse (which was not definitely not a good idea), she slammed her teeth down to avoid the entry which was already inevitable. Malfoy screamed, whipping his tongue out in the process.

"What the bloody fuck, Pansy? That was my tongue!"

Ginny stood there, speechless. Malfoy snapped, "Say something!"

She cracked out of her shocked state, and began to sputter, "Ma - Malfoy, I'm so sorry! I - I just -"

"Malfoy? Why are you calling me by my last name? Don't we -" he moved closer to her " - know each other better than that?"

She breathed in. The sudden closeness was obviously hard for her to handle, and the quick transition Malfoy had made from angry to seductive was making her head spin. She make herself get out of her trance, and gave a PSL Type 1 (eyes casted low and taking in air slowly and softly) and breathed, "Malfoy is just such a manly name. I love saying it," she put her hand on his chest, and purred, "Malfoy."

He smirked, "I like that," and began to tilt his head toward her again.

She pressed her finger on his lips, "Uh uh uh! I'm afraid that I have to mention the Dewey Menstruation System." She hoped that Millicent wasn't pulling her leg on said Dewey Menstruation System and she wouldn't have to make up another lame excuse.

It seemed that Millicent was telling the truth, because at that moment Malfoy paled. "The.. The Dewey Men-"

Ginny nodded, "Yes. That."

He backed away, still paling but managed to say without even a clue of his discomfort, "I'll be leaving you to that then. I'll see you in two weeks," he winked, and then left.

As soon as he was gone, a smirking Millicent entered the room. She clapped Ginny on the shoulder, "That was actually convincing, except when you nearly bit his tongue off."

Ginny shrugged, "Things happen." Millicent let out a snicker, and Ginny laughed (surprising herself). "Anyway, what's the Dewey Menstruation System?"

Millicent's grin became even wider, "A nickname for Pansy's period. Dewey is her mother's maiden name, and it's a Dewey Family thing that all the women have periods every two months that last two weeks, and during these two weeks are evil demon angels from hell."

Ginny laughed again. "So technically.."

"You're safe from any creepy men trying to get you in their beds." Ginny let out a whoop of joy, until Millicent added, "Of course, you'll have to deal with them for the last two weeks."

Ginny's face fell. Millicent snickered again, and then tugged her sleeve. "C'mon, play a game of wizard's chess with me in the dorm."

* * *

Pansy could not stand the fuzzy feelings that was in Gryffindor. She felt like she was going to suffocate by all the goody-goods in the room. Everyone was _helping _each other. In Slytherin, the 'helping' they ever did was teaching their fellow housemates a lesson, which usually resulted in a few black eyes and, if they were lucky, a sprained limb. Yes, the title of "Good Samaritan" was a thing of blasphemy in they Slytherin house.

She visibly shuddered when she saw Weasel, Potty and Mudblood get up and walk in her direction. Colin nudged her in the side.

"Be nice," he warned.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "No, really?" she said annoyed.

Great, she was only in the common room for five minutes and the insipid chivalry that filled the air was already getting to her.

Weasel walked up, and wrapped his arms around Pansy. Pansy froze, feeling a sense of violation and disgust from the brotherly hug. She pushed Ron off of her with the tips of her fingers so she wouldn't have to touch him anymore than she had to, saying in a noticeably forced manner, "Hey, big brother."

Ron peered down at her, being that he was a foot taller. "Is something wrong, Gin? You seem agitated."

Pansy gave him an eerie sugary grin, "Of course not. Everything is fine. Peachy, really."

Mudblood's eyebrow rose, "Ron, Harry, I think you should go upstairs."

Weasel immediately began to whine, "Whaaaat? Aw, not the girl talk, I never get to be in on the girl talk."

Potty smiled, "That's because you're not a girl, Ron." He then motioned toward to where Ron's jewels would be with his wand, "However, with a whish and a flick.."

"Don't you dare point that at my balls, Harry!" Ron yelled. The others began to laugh.

Pansy, on the other hand, was horrified. The mere mention of Weasel and his balls made her feel a wave of repulsion. She could feel the blood draining from her face as the words "Weasel" and "balls" flashed through her mind, forcing unwelcome mental images into her head. She let out a small whimper, looking at Ron down below.

Colin took Pansy by the hand and led her to a corner while the three were distracted. He shook her slightly, because she was still in a trance of utter repugnance. "Pansy! Don't think about it! It's unhealthy!"

Pansy looked up at Colin, finally snapping out of it and smirked a little. At least someone agreed with her. "Now," Colin said, "Convince Hermione you're okay. Use your acting skills."

Her smirk melted and she growled, "If they mention Weasel's gonads again, I'll have to dispose of them myself to ensure that the topic will never be brought up."

Colin laughed, "I hear you, I hear you. Now go." He gave her a small push toward the trio, who were still continuing their antics.

Pansy approached Mudblood, straining to keep a smile on her face. "Hermione, I'm fine, really. Please don't worry about me. It's just, well.." her eyes traveled to the floor.

Mudblood put her arm around Pansy, in which Pansy had to swallow down an overwhelming feeling of nausea. "What is it, Gin? You can tell me." Pansy looked up, and stared at Potty and Weasel. Mudblood glared at them, which caused the two to run away. _Whupped_.

"Now that they're gone," Mudblood said, "What's wrong?"

Pansy shrugged, heaving a small sigh. She noticed that Ginny sighed whenever she was stressed out or was thinking something but thought it was best not to say it. "Well.."

"Listen, if it's Dean, I'll talk to him. He's a boy, and boy's just don't know when to quit.."

A small plan entered Pansy's head. _So Dean DOES still think the relationship is full of juice! I guess I'll just have to help him 'juice' a few more fruits. And maybe throw in a few.. bananas.._

Pansy smirked as the lustful intentions filled her brain. She didn't realize it until Mudblood said, "Ginny, you're scaring me."

The smirked slipped off her face. Pansy innocently asked, "What?"

Mudblood gave her a questioning look. "You had that look on your face that you get whenever you're planning something evil."

Pansy was puzzled. "Me? Evil?" she asked sincerely.

Mudblood rolled her eyes, "Oh, please! Don't give me that! You're always up to no good! Like earlier this year when you turned your brother into a giant nose when you first broke up with Dean, trying to play matchmaker with you and Harry. Or when Mike and Jack made fun of you for being the only female Chaser, you got your revenge by making it so that every time they looked at a girl that they thought was attractive, she'd morph into Professor McGonagall. Teaches them for being chauvinistic bastards.."

Without her realizing it, Pansy's jaw dropped. Ginny had done all of that? Sure, she heard about it, but she never imagined it was _Ginny_. Damn, she _was_ evil. Well, it just meant that her being a temporary Slytherin shouldn't be too hard.

Mudblood waved her hand about, "Enough of that, we all know that you're evil and you can't deny it," she smiled at Pansy. Pansy gave her a smirk right back, but with different intent that fortunately Hermione did not notice. "Anyway, what's bothering you? You can tell Big Sister Hermione!"

_Big Sister Hermione my ass_, Pansy thought.

Pansy pinched her lips, another nervous gesture of Ginny's. "It's just.. I think I want Dean back."

Mudblood's eyes bugged out.

"I think I was confused at the time at what to do. It was just so much pressure, my parents were getting on my back about grades, my eleven brothers are always being overprotective -"

"Six brothers," Mudblood interrupted. "You have six brothers."

Pansy whined without thinking, "There's so many, I can't keep track of them!"

"Ginny, they're your brothers." Pansy stared at Mudblood, realizing how she just screwed herself over. However, there was still a chance to redeem herself. She thought quickly, and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh, and I bet you can keep track of them," Pansy scoffed.

"Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Fred and Ron," Mudblood listed off. _I knew that wouldn't work. Fucking merlin. _Mudblood looked at Pansy expectantly, waiting for a response.

Pansy stuttered, "W-well," she thought desperately for an excuse. It was probably extremely likely that Ginny could remember the names and amount of her brothers more than Mudblood could. She finally said, without thinking (yet again), "My mind must be clouded because of my love for Dean."

Mudblood screeched, "LOVE?!"

Pansy realized what she just said, sitting there in shock. _Ooh, not a good thing to say._

The rest of the people in the common room looked up in surprise. Mudblood smiled embarrassedly, and then turned to Pansy with a hushed whisper, "You _love_ him?"

Pansy mentally rolled her eyes. She couldn't get out of this one. She forced a blush to cross her face, and answered, "Yes. I do."

Mudblood squealed, "Well, than we have to get you back together!" She jumped up and down and hugged Pansy, whose evil smirk had reappeared. However, it was at this time that she looked across the room and saw Colin, who was gesturing if it was going well by shaking his thumb. She gave him a thumbs up, and he smiled. He obviously had no idea where the conversation is going. _Probably a good thing_, Pansy thought.

Another revelation crossed Pansy's mind. She pulled herself out of Mudblood's hug, and actually manage not to have shakes of disgust. She looked at the other girl, and said, "Listen, you have to keep it quiet, especially from Colin. See, he has this huge crush on me, and if he knows.."

Mudblood nodded, "I understand. Don't worry."

It was at this moment that Potty and Weasel ran down the stairs, in which Weasel whined, "'Mione! Can we copy your potions homework?"

Mudblood rolled her eyes, "I have to go." She raced up the stairs, scolding her friends on the illegality of copying homework.

Colin ran over to Pansy, "How did it go?"

Pansy sneered, "Possibly the most horrible thing I have ever had to attempt in my life. Be civil to.. _them_."

Colin laughed, "Well, you did a good job. So, do you want to play a game of Exploding Snap, or something?"

Pansy rubbed her eyes daintily, "I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Those three took it out of me, I'm afraid I'll have to retire."

Colin nodded, "Alright. See you tomorrow morning."

Pansy let out a yawn, waiting for Colin to leave. He walked up the stairs to his dorm, and waved good bye to Pansy. She responded with a small gesture, still yawning. Finally, he disappeared, in which Pansy skipped up the stairs to the girl dormitories, wondering if Ginny had any sexy lingerie.

* * *

Please review and tell me what you think! 


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